| September
2004
Why Bullying Cannot Be Tolerated
Bullying is not a childhood rite of passage.
Bullies leave scars that can last a lifetime. Schools have harassment
policies that protect against this type of behavior. In fact,
it would be difficult to find a school that did not have a policy
against harassment. A positive learning climate and harassment
can not coexist.
Harassment in school is a large topic of discussion
from Dr. Phil and Oprah to magazine articles. Harassment has been
the target of major lawsuits and the subject several movies for
television. It is no longer being tolerated and an employer would
rather fire an employee that is guilty of harassment than pay
the hefty fine. What actions are possible harassment? Harassment
could be any of the following: hitting, kicking, mimicking, threatening,
spitting, stealing, glaring, making fun of, pushing, swearing,
pranks, gestures, name calling, pinching, shooting rubber bands,
laughing at, spreading rumors, inappropriate touching, towel snapping,
isolating others, intimidation, retaliation.
How do the items above become harassment? Aren’t
these just normal kid things to do? If the behaviors mentioned
are done to a “target” student or group of students
repeatedly, it is harassment. If someone shoots a rubber band
once, it is not harassment. However, if one student is singled
out and several rubber bands are shot at them over a period of
several days, it is harassment.
Harassment can be Verbal (making threats, name-calling),
Psychological (excluding children, spreading rumors) or Physical
(hitting, pushing, taking a child’s possessions). Boys tend
to choose physical and verbal methods. This is easier to spot.
Girls usually select psychological methods. Girls tend to roll
their eyes, give someone the silent treatment, tell others to
not be their friends and throw out an insult and then say, “just
kidding.” It may seem less threatening but the pain is no
less severe.
Some students have thick skins and can ignore
a low level of teasing without much damage. Other students are
very sensitive by nature and would be dramatically affected by
the same behaviors. Signs of damage from harassment could be not
wanting to go to school, frequent crying for no apparent reason,
withdrawal from friends and activities, sudden drop in grades,
frequent headaches, frequent stomach aches, inability to sleep
on school nights. Some students strongly affected by harassment
may begin to call themselves a failure or a loser. If allowed
to continue, harassment may cause students to drop out of school
or even contemplate suicide.
Every child has the right to receive an education.
Harassment infringes on that right. Harassment not only affects
the student being targeted but all those witnessing the event.
It spreads fear throughout the school. Other students may begin
to have the same symptoms as those being harassed out of fear
that they will be the next target. Students that live in fear
can not reach their full potential.
How can we conquer this unfair behavior? Schools
must set a “no tolerance” policy. Our school has a
contract sent out at the beginning of each school year listing
what harassment is and all students and parents are expected to
read and sign the agreement to contribute to a positive school
climate.
Students are taught to 1) Tell the bully to stop.
2) If it does not stop, report harassment to an adult on staff.
3) Keep reporting until it does stop. Teachers stop harassment
quickly and students receive a warning. The next step is a letter
to parents to be followed by a detention or even a suspension.
The majority of harassment stops at the warning stage.
Any ongoing incidents of harassment should be
reported to the school. We do not tolerate this behavior and there
is no need for students to suffer from the effects.
How Can I Help My Child Be More
Organized?
Most children are not born organized. They need
help figuring out a system for organization.
Elementary children should have one spot that
they keep their school bags and supplies. This eliminates the
last minute panic in the morning looking for the school bag. In
the evening, the bag should be put in the special place and be
ready to go. Selecting clothes and shoes the evening before may
also save time in the morning.
Having a desk or a study spot is also helpful.
If students always study in the same place, there is only one
place to look when searching for books, homework and supplies.
It also sets the climate for serious work.
It can be the kitchen table, dining room table, or their bedroom.
Where it should not be is near a television.
Having a schedule to follow also helps students.
Setting aside the hours of 6:30-7:30 for homework could be a great
help. Some families prefer that their children do their homework
as soon as they come home.
Whatever the schedule, it works better if there is a time set
aside for things that need to get done.
Middle school students need more organizational
skills. They no longer have one teacher and one desk. They have
a different teacher and a different desk every period. They must
learn to predict what will be needed from class to class. Assignment
notebooks are a must for keeping track of what assignments are
done and which have to be taken home. Long term assignments can
be a problem for middle school students. An assignment given on
Monday may not be due until next Monday. If students don’t
write this in the assignment book for the next 5 days, they will
be planning a Sunday night homework party into all hours of the
morning.
Some students find it too difficult to carry
separate notebooks for each class and use a 5 subject notebook
to keep track of homework assignments. Others may need to color
code book jackets with notebooks.
Some may need to carry schedules with them.
For students that do not remember verbal reminders,
written ones may work. Try Post-It Notes on a door or refrigerator.
Some students need things written down before they process effectively.
Students need direction in organization if they
begin to have consequences in school. If parents find themselves
at a loss, call the teacher or counselor. They may have some great
ideas that have worked for other students in the past.
Mrs. Pytel
K-8 Counselor
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